[ Adrian can't say that he truly expected a direct answer, but he does sometimes hope for one in vain. He doesn't pretend that he understands the response, but he take a swallow of his coffee while he puzzles through it.
Adrian finds them both a bit opaque in different ways, but Steven had so obviously to cared for Marc, and even this much seems difficult for Marc to admit. Uses, indeed. ]
You look after each other, I suppose? In your own ways. [ He can't say that he expects much of an answer to that statement. ] I feel as if I should tell you what I told him.
[ Adrian sets his mug down and holds out a gloved hand. ] Your hand, please.
( the problem, most of the time, is that marc generally doesn't consider himself to be indirect. he thinks he's answering the question, responding to what's being asked of him in the way that suits best. this, sure, is different. there aren't many people that'd be able to squeeze 'steven steps in to make sure I don't do something I regret, jake steps in when I can't deal emotionally' out of marc. the answer adrian gets, then, is the closest marc will willingly get to elucidating.
and, if pressed, he'd argue that alongside everything else, it's hardly very fucking opaque. uses—!
though much like the time andrea had asked marc what steven and jake thought of being dragged into marc's perpetual war as moon knight and marc being faced, abruptly, with the knowledge that he's never once asked their opinions, never once considered their feelings, adrian asking — commenting, really — that steven and marc must look after each other has marc realising that—
no.
not really.
what does he do for steven except cause problems? lose their money. alienate his employees. torch grantcorp's reputation. get them investigated by the IRS.
the beat of silence is telling, and marc keeps his face still, expression unchanged as he glances towards adrian's hand, the edges of unwanted self-consciousness softened by questioning.
(he didn't ask about their conversation.)
(god.) (he should have stayed at home.) )
—Is this going to be some kind of telepathy thing? ( abrupt and incredulous and seemingly entirely in spite of himself. )
[ Adrian blinks in surprise, clearly not expecting that question. ]
I don't have any telepathic abilities... Do you? [ Is that why he's asking? More likely, Adrian assumes, he's just familiar with those who do have such abilities. (Frankly, if he did have a Telepathy spell, that would make much of this conversation easier. As things stand, he feels as if he's often trying to catch up with Marc's train of thought.)
He doesn't move at all, elbow restring against the table, hand open and palm-up. ]
I thought it would be better received if you knew where I planned to cast. I was going to remove the many stains from your glove and sleeve... If you have no objections?
[ Many is an exaggeration, but there is blood and dirt.
Considering his work at the clinic and the long sleeves that he always wears, Adrian should have long since acquired similar stains, but his own white shirt is pristine. Magic is useful like that. ]
( sorry, he's just struggling to follow how being told about steven and adrian's conversation has any relation to the marks on his clothes.
does he object? not really, not in and of himself — don't ask him about how much he spends on dry cleaning at home, or how much of his free time he dedicates to doing laundry here. it's a lot (unsurprisingly), but it's the price to be paid for the life he lives.
regardless— it's a pain in the ass to have to clean so consistently, so frequently. despite misgivings, he grunts a noise of — acknowledgement? agreement? not disagreement — before, ) I thought you were telling me about your conversation.
( doesn't mean he's not going to act at least a little disgruntled about the entire thing. he has an image to maintain, adrian. )
I don't have any abilities. ( pointed. ) Doesn't make my head any more fun for anyone to experience. ( on the off-chance that adrian did have telepathic abilities. he cares, you know. )
[ Adrian isn't quite petty enough to find satisfaction in causing the confusion for a change, but it's a near thing. He does give Marc a little grin when he says: ] I'm trying to be dramatic. I thought you would appreciate that.
[ He doubts that Marc thinks he's being dramatic almost as much as he doubts that Marc will appreciate his attempt at it, but sometimes Marc is wrong.
He sighs and lowers his hand, flexing his fingers. ]
I pray for your cleansing grace.
[ He makes a sweeping motion with his hand, and the stains vanish, from the glove to about halfway up Marc's arm, leaving the suit the same pristine white that it must have been the day it was made. Adrian props his cheek against his fist and reaches for his coffee mug again. ]
As I told Steven, I do wish that you would more freely ask for help — and not because I doubt your capabilities, but because this sort of thing is trivial for me. I can do the whole suit in a few seconds if you fold it up for me first. I can heal you so long as you haven't passed through death's door. I would be glad to do either of these things, whenever you might have want of them, as I would for any of my friends.
[ In truth, healing isn't nearly as trivial as a cantrip is, but Marc doesn't need to know that right now. Adrian takes a sip of his (still terrible) coffee, eyeing Marc across the table. ]
( his mouth twists sharply when adrian grins and says about trying to be dramatic, like marc does appreciate it but would prefer not to. reluctance sits in the way his mouth settles the beat after, as adrian sighs and does — frankly, whatever he does, it bears little similarity to anything any magic users he's familiar with can or will do. not, of course, that marc's ever asked a single one to do anything so mundane as clean his suit. )
I'm a difficult man to please, ( he mutters instead, although there's no heat behind it, nothing that indicates he's quite as serious about the matter as he might have been had adrian not made it quite as clear that there was humour in his words.
as adrian continues, though, marc's reluctance shifts to something more palpable, more tangible. less comfortable with circumstances — not on account of the magic (that's fine), and not even because adrian considers him a friend. (marc had decided, quite quickly, that adrian was a friend regardless of how adrian might feel about him, even if showing that isn't something he's particularly skilled at.) no, the reluctance is with the rest of it, the 'ask for help' and the 'death's door'. how does that work for someone like him?
he turns his cup between his fingers, placing the handle — such as it is — just so, before— )
No. ( firm, somewhere between tired and irritable. ) He can tell me himself if it's important. ( or adrian can, if he thinks it's important enough. ) Your conversation with Steven was between the two of you. I don't—. ( AAAH. ) I can be demanding and I can be unreasonable, but I'm not intrusive.
( —or not as much as he has been, not these days. controlling is a trait that marc doesn't think he'll ever fully be able to shake, but it's something he's worked to temper after losing marlene, after losing jean-paul, after losing diatrice.
his fingers press against the mug, harder, before releasing abruptly. he takes a slow sip of (really bad) coffee and adds, ) If I need to know, one of you will tell me.
Evidently. [ He says, still light-hearted. Difficult, indeed. ] You're welcome.
[ It ought to be sarcastic or chiding, but it's perhaps a touch too sincere. He doesn't really mind. He's at least starting to understand some of why Marc seems to struggle with this sort of thing.
He watches Marc's hands as he fusses with the mug. It wouldn't be entirely unreasonable if he had said yes, had wanted to know what had been said and done when he wasn't in control of his body -- their body? -- but things between him and Steven don't work that way. Even as slivers of the same soul, they are their own people. Steven was, in many ways, very astute about Marc. ]
You've not been overly demanding with me, either, actually. Unreasonable I'll give you, but I can be a bit of a brat myself so -- we are well matched.
[ He offers Marc another smile, smaller this time, softer: ] You are doing just fine, Marc.
[ It just seems like the kind of thing he needs to hear.
( marc could explain why it might seem that he's not been demanding with adrian, he's self-aware enough for (some of) it, but the parts of it that would make most sense could be interpreted as insulting, while the rest of it requires history. backstory. and none of the people involved are here in panorama, so there's no point. the short of it is— )
You don't work for me. ( curt and certain, with an unspoken side of we're not close enough for me to be demanding. marc's attitude tends to be circular in that those closest to him bear the brunt of his worst traits, of his assumptions and his disregard. his enemies are the recipients of something similar, albeit born of different reasoning, while friends — the regular kind — and acquaintances often earn something tempered and more considerate.
where for some, familiarity breeds contempt, for marc it's thoughtlessness.
he imagines, then, that adrian's opinion will change in time, that he'll come to realise that marc is speaking about himself objectively. marc hasn't yet met anyone who's openly disagreed with the assertion, which is why adrian's you're doing fine earns a flat look, disagreeing in almost every single way, before— )
You're obstinate. That's not the same thing.
( dismissive. 'brat' isn't the word marc would use for adrian — at least, not in the current moment — but he doesn't disagree with the underlying sentiment. still, he doesn't linger on the remark, instead swiftly adding— )
No. Not just. But it was a part of it. I— ( pause. pause. ) —'ve been working on being more open.
Of course I don't. Do you really think you could pay my fee? [ Adrian replies, one eyebrow arched. He breaks a moment later, another cheeky little smile. ] So, undemanding. You should enjoy it while you can.
[ Adrian takes another sip of his coffee. He's curious to see if and how that might change. There are very specific circumstances where he might do as he's told, and outside of them he is, to put it mildly, impossibly stubborn. People who learn that quickly never like him enough to be angry about it later, when they inevitably leave.
As for his fee... If he isn't working under contact at the clinic (and sometimes even then) the only thing he's ever asked for is a story or a cup of coffee, to get to know people better. For them to open up.
Marc has, to the best of his abilities, already paid his 'fee' in some ways.
Adrian rolls his eyes, clearly considering the correction to be pedantic. There's more that he could say about being called obstinate, but Marc has already continued.
A part of him had expected the question to be dismissed. Of course Marc isn't here because he asked; he was in the area, or he had something in particular he needed, or he just thought that taking an Eldritch Blast to the face sounded like a fun... Anything, really.
His gaze drops to his cup briefly, raising again in the pause between words. ]
Oh. Well... I'm glad that you came.
wow adrian he didn't know he was going to get hit in the face okay
( marc huffs a breath that notably isn't a laugh, but it's not so divorced from one that the amusement's impossible to notice. these days, the answer is of course no, but—
he holds up a finger as if to say 'hold'. )
Before the IRS seized all my stuff? Yes.
( marc being marc, doesn't assume anything other than money when adrian says 'fee', despite adrian to-date showcasing very little interest in finances. it's an association marc's struggled to replace, despite the fact that he very deliberately has little involvement in traditional methods of earning cash, and that he's been that way for over a decade — since his first death in selima.
as for how he has earned money over the years? well, that's between him and his conscience. also — steven, and steven's ability to squirrel away money and assets where marc is both aware of and capable of using it for his own ends, and where he's not because marc has never been especially responsible with his money. and even less so when he's EXPERIENCING THE HORRORS (or being a horror, which is often much the same thing.)
he catches the way adrian rolls his eyes, though, the way marc's answer seems to catch him short. he decides not to linger on either of that, particularly the latter. it's uncomfortable in a way he's not certain how to react to, never has been.
he makes a quiet noise that sits just shy of being a disagreeing nngh, before— )
—The conversation was going to happen eventually. I'm not going to say I'm glad, but people make assumptions with and without it. I've learned the first tends to be preferable to the second.
[ Adrian gives him a look of mild confusion. He has no idea who 'The IRS' is, or why they've taken Marc's things. (Frankly, he didn't even know that Marc had 'stuff' to take. Even Steven had given a vague answer as to how the man paid for his day-to-day.)
He half-opens his mouth as if he's considering several comments, pauses, and then closes his mouth again. He's not entirely certain that he wants to know. Anyway, it had only been a joke, and he'd gotten an almost-not-quite laugh, so he'll take what victories he can have.
Adrian hums something non-committal in response to Marc's assertion that he was, more or less, just managing assumptions. ]
I can understand why you might not be eager to explain it right away... or at all. [ He still only barely understands it himself, but he doesn't want to push too hard and risk Marc closing off even more than he normally does.
He taps a finger against his cheek, hesitating a moment before he continues: ] But I meant that more generally, as well. It's nice to see you. Do you... would you like to get some better coffee, sometime?
[ There's a kind of wry resignation in his expression, like he already expects Marc to decline out of hand, but he figures that he might as well make the offer anyway. It would be nice to see him "off duty" for once, if he does that sort of thing. ]
( part of that is because marc avoids elaborating on how he pays for his day-to-day when he has to be self-sufficient. it takes a very specific type of person to decide to dress up and take the moniker of technically-two-but-it's-complicated of his villains, specifically to commit theft. marc is wholly, fully aware that his approach to OBTAINING AN INCOME is questionable at best and always has been, so the less shared the better. steven is, frankly, the best of a few bad options.
but as for his lacklustre explanation, marc's of the opinion that he's explained it pretty adequately to and for a man that (presumably) has a limited understanding of dissociative identity disorder and so, marc doesn't consider aiding adrian's understanding with anything else. he does almost respond to adrian's first remark, the one about understanding his reluctance towards explaining the situation, but he gets as far as making a general noise that signifies intent to speak before adrian continues, inviting him for coffee and— )
Are you asking me out on a date? ( skeptical and entertained all at once, with marc very deliberately avoiding adding anything else for a count of three.
then, (because obviously not), marc adds— ) I'm not precious about coffee. I've spent a lot of times in a lot of places where the best you can get is freeze-dried (shit— ) instant granules. You learn not to be picky so long as it keeps you awake. If it tastes like hot, you're doing good.
[ Adrian blinks, utterly taken aback for a half-second, like he had never considered the possibility before. He stares at Marc. He considers. Very rapidly, the golden freckles across the bridge of his nose begin to glow in what can only be interpreted as a blush.
He doesn't hear anything Marc is saying after that. It's all white noise to him.
Adrian clears his throat, still clearly distracted: ] Right, yes, hot... That is — I mean you are reasonably handsome — sometimes.
[ He puts a hand over his mouth, as it has become quite suddenly necessary to physically shut himself up, and sinks back into his chair. ]
Wait... are you teasing me? Is this funny to you? Gods, I should turn you into a newt.
( on the other hand, marc's expression is carefully neutral, his gaze fixed on adrian as adrian seems to struggle to know how to react. the blink-stare-pause earns a poorly disguised (small) smile which very much confirms that yes, marc is teasing adrian, except for the part where he manages to look startled at the you are reasonably handsome.
marc had expected that adrian had either not really thought about what he was saying or he was oblivious to the implications, what he hadn't expected was any hint of — well, anything. but then, it's hardly the first time. marc is not a man known for his astuteness when it comes to interpersonal relationships or being even the slightest bit aware of what anyone else might think, particularly in relation to himself.
(does he even consider how he feels about anyone else? no. marc rarely makes the first move.)
so — surprise that segues into uncertainty ("sometimes"? he should be offended, and yet—) into an exhale of breath as he says (lies), ) I don't have a sense of humour.
[ Sometimes, like now. The slight twitch at the corner of his lips, the way his expression relaxes just a touch... Even Adrian isn't quite so oblivious as to pretend that he's unaffected. It's just that he hadn't considered — hadn't even wondered — if this sort of thing crossed Marc's mind. It was all... idle nothing.
He has to remind himself that it still hardly matters. He only knows so much about Marc, and Marc knows even less about him, and sooner or later that will change enough for Marc to realize that even their friendship isn't worth his time.
There's really no need for him to get so flustered, to entertain the idea as if it could work. ]
I see. That's probably for the best; you would be a terrible newt. [ He's still a bit embarrassed, but he exhales with a huff.
Despite his own distractions, he hasn't missed anything in Marc's expression, neither the surprise nor the uncertainty. There's a moment's hesitation again, but Adrian sits up enough to reach across the table and place his hand over Marc's, just barely touching, easy to avoid. ]
Friend coffee, my dear. As I'm sure you can tell, I'm hardly versed in courtship, and that is the least of it... I can't even touch anyone without making them ill, for heavens' sake.
[ Well, there had been Eliot, but that had gone even worse than he could have imagined. ]
(my dear slots into the same sort of place that jean-paul's perpetual mon ami had — something that registers, but only in a vague sense, with precisely zero meaning assumed — and, well, steven had gone through a 'my dear' phase, and he'd mostly meant it condescendingly. the 'courtship', though? that registers. (yes is the answer, but only because adrian's proven the point spectacularly; up until now, marc hadn't given it the slightest thought.) the light touch of adrian's hand registers, too, but marc isn't as disinclined to touch as might be expected, and he doesn't move his hand away. )
—Only because you call it courtship. ( unthinking as he tries to work out what to offer in response. it's not like marc hasn't dated — hookups and flings in his twenties punctuated by a relationship or two that hadn't gone anywhere. marlene. greer. marlene. echo. marlene again. — but something else had always been more important in one way or another. he knows he'd been a terrible partner, alternately controlling and neglectful, and marlene had forgiven him more times than he had any right to be forgiven. (jean-paul, too—.)
he waves his other hand, a dismissive motion as if to say 'you know' before wryly adding, ) None of what I've done could be called courting.
( he doesn't say that he's often been as bad a friend as he has anything else, too. there's a reason why no-one he used to be close to will talk to him these days. )
Friend, ( he mimics adrian's emphasis, ) coffee doesn't change where my bar is.
[ Adrian wrinkles his nose. ] What's wrong with 'courtship'? That's a perfectly normal thing to call it.
[ He can't tell if Marc is being pedantic again or if the term itself is antiquated. Still, he can't disagree that he finds it hard to imagine Marc doing anything that could be called courting, even if he does seem to spend all of his time in his formal wear.
Then again, maybe he's just trying to be nice. ]
Then it's settled. Friend coffee. [ He pats Marc's hand before drawing his hands back to his mug. ] I know a place that's open late so you you needn't be up before the moon. I'll send a message when I know my shifts for next week.
[ Will Marc show up several hours late again? Adrian imagines that it's likely, but he has no shortage of reading to do and a coffee shop is a pleasant enough place to do it.
Anyway, it isn't a date. Neither of them need to have expectations.
It's just — Adrian's hands tighten around his mug again. ]
This is working. Friendship, I mean. I'm not in a hurry to make a mess of it.
[ Regardless of what his feelings might be, he's most certainly not ready to unpack them. There's very little that Adrian is truly afraid of, often to his peril, but the idea of raising the stakes of a friendship into romance, so that it has just that much further to fall when it falls apart — that is both novel and terrifying. ]
( it's punctuated by a flicker of his expression, like he wants to be offended by the insinuation that he won't be awake at regular people-and-business hours before shifting, quite quickly, into resignation at the fact that adrian's right. he might be awake in the early afternoon, but if he can stick to routine and if he can manage a semi-reasonable amount of sleep, then— no. it'll be evening.
still— ) I have an alarm clock, Adrian.
( —so why had he been late? don't ask that question. (will he be late? also yes. but it's nothing personal, okay.)
he considers that more-or-less his cue to leave, and he moves to stand, his coffee still almost entirely untouched. through habit, he make his way towards the window rather than the door, only pausing when adrian finishes speaking. he doesn't turn towards adrian, but he looks over his shoulder enough that he can catch the shape of him in his periphery.
reese had shared some of the conversation marlene had with her, but only after also sharing what she thought of marlene — rude, lacking in manners, unfair — but reese lacked context. lacked understanding. it was nice of her, but unfortunately none of it — none of marc — was quite that simple.
as marlene had said: marc saves people, but not himself and not the people closest to him. eventually, too, the horror outpaces the excitement, and there's no room in anyone's life for him once it gets to that. he doesn't disagree. he disagrees less with jean-paul's assertion, but jean-paul had always seen him most clearly. he won't stop. it's not for lack of want. he's tried, here and there over the years, and always ended up right back where he started.
so, adrian says this — friendship — is working, that he's in no hurry to ruin it, and all marc can think is that adrian hardly needs to be worried about what he'll do. marc tends to do a good enough job of that all by himself.
but unlike adrian, he doesn't differentiate between friendship and romance. he's just as skilled at ending both, it hardly matters what is what. )
[ Adrian huffs. He's not going to start calling it dating. That's so much worse. Marc can use whatever novel turns of phrase that he sees fit.
I have an alarm clock, Marc says, and Adrian is tempted to ask him what a man who allegedly doesn't sleep needs with an alarm clock, but he's caught up by the underlying meaning. The willingness to go out of his way for — for something as mundane as coffee, that he doesn't even have strong feelings about. (It's not for the coffee.)
Perhaps he should consider that a mundane act among friends, but he shakes his head, his gaze still downcast toward his lukewarm coffee. ] You're too sweet by far... And quite grumpy enough, even when you have slept.
[ It's lighthearted teasing, without any heat behind it. He finally lets go of the cup and stands up to see Marc to the... window. Adrian considers asking about the door, and decides against it almost immediately. There are some things one just has to accept about Marc Spector and one of them is, apparently, that he is a ridiculous man. ]
Do take care. [ He says, as Marc slips out into the night.
He won't, Adrian knows — but if Marc can assume that Adrian won't ruin this, Adrian can hope that it's a quiet night, just this once. Just for tonight. ]
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Adrian finds them both a bit opaque in different ways, but Steven had so obviously to cared for Marc, and even this much seems difficult for Marc to admit. Uses, indeed. ]
You look after each other, I suppose? In your own ways. [ He can't say that he expects much of an answer to that statement. ] I feel as if I should tell you what I told him.
[ Adrian sets his mug down and holds out a gloved hand. ] Your hand, please.
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and, if pressed, he'd argue that alongside everything else, it's hardly very fucking opaque. uses—!
though much like the time andrea had asked marc what steven and jake thought of being dragged into marc's perpetual war as moon knight and marc being faced, abruptly, with the knowledge that he's never once asked their opinions, never once considered their feelings, adrian asking — commenting, really — that steven and marc must look after each other has marc realising that—
no.
not really.
what does he do for steven except cause problems? lose their money. alienate his employees. torch grantcorp's reputation. get them investigated by the IRS.
the beat of silence is telling, and marc keeps his face still, expression unchanged as he glances towards adrian's hand, the edges of unwanted self-consciousness softened by questioning.
(he didn't ask about their conversation.)
(god.)
(he should have stayed at home.) )
—Is this going to be some kind of telepathy thing? ( abrupt and incredulous and seemingly entirely in spite of himself. )
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I don't have any telepathic abilities... Do you? [ Is that why he's asking? More likely, Adrian assumes, he's just familiar with those who do have such abilities. (Frankly, if he did have a Telepathy spell, that would make much of this conversation easier. As things stand, he feels as if he's often trying to catch up with Marc's train of thought.)
He doesn't move at all, elbow restring against the table, hand open and palm-up. ]
I thought it would be better received if you knew where I planned to cast. I was going to remove the many stains from your glove and sleeve... If you have no objections?
[ Many is an exaggeration, but there is blood and dirt.
Considering his work at the clinic and the long sleeves that he always wears, Adrian should have long since acquired similar stains, but his own white shirt is pristine. Magic is useful like that. ]
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does he object? not really, not in and of himself — don't ask him about how much he spends on dry cleaning at home, or how much of his free time he dedicates to doing laundry here. it's a lot (unsurprisingly), but it's the price to be paid for the life he lives.
regardless— it's a pain in the ass to have to clean so consistently, so frequently. despite misgivings, he grunts a noise of — acknowledgement? agreement? not disagreement — before, ) I thought you were telling me about your conversation.
( doesn't mean he's not going to act at least a little disgruntled about the entire thing. he has an image to maintain, adrian. )
I don't have any abilities. ( pointed. ) Doesn't make my head any more fun for anyone to experience. ( on the off-chance that adrian did have telepathic abilities. he cares, you know. )
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[ He doubts that Marc thinks he's being dramatic almost as much as he doubts that Marc will appreciate his attempt at it, but sometimes Marc is wrong.
He sighs and lowers his hand, flexing his fingers. ]
I pray for your cleansing grace.
[ He makes a sweeping motion with his hand, and the stains vanish, from the glove to about halfway up Marc's arm, leaving the suit the same pristine white that it must have been the day it was made. Adrian props his cheek against his fist and reaches for his coffee mug again. ]
As I told Steven, I do wish that you would more freely ask for help — and not because I doubt your capabilities, but because this sort of thing is trivial for me. I can do the whole suit in a few seconds if you fold it up for me first. I can heal you so long as you haven't passed through death's door. I would be glad to do either of these things, whenever you might have want of them, as I would for any of my friends.
[ In truth, healing isn't nearly as trivial as a cantrip is, but Marc doesn't need to know that right now. Adrian takes a sip of his (still terrible) coffee, eyeing Marc across the table. ]
Do you want to know what else we spoke about?
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I'm a difficult man to please, ( he mutters instead, although there's no heat behind it, nothing that indicates he's quite as serious about the matter as he might have been had adrian not made it quite as clear that there was humour in his words.
as adrian continues, though, marc's reluctance shifts to something more palpable, more tangible. less comfortable with circumstances — not on account of the magic (that's fine), and not even because adrian considers him a friend. (marc had decided, quite quickly, that adrian was a friend regardless of how adrian might feel about him, even if showing that isn't something he's particularly skilled at.) no, the reluctance is with the rest of it, the 'ask for help' and the 'death's door'. how does that work for someone like him?
he turns his cup between his fingers, placing the handle — such as it is — just so, before— )
No. ( firm, somewhere between tired and irritable. ) He can tell me himself if it's important. ( or adrian can, if he thinks it's important enough. ) Your conversation with Steven was between the two of you. I don't—. ( AAAH. ) I can be demanding and I can be unreasonable, but I'm not intrusive.
( —or not as much as he has been, not these days. controlling is a trait that marc doesn't think he'll ever fully be able to shake, but it's something he's worked to temper after losing marlene, after losing jean-paul, after losing diatrice.
his fingers press against the mug, harder, before releasing abruptly. he takes a slow sip of (really bad) coffee and adds, ) If I need to know, one of you will tell me.
( right? right. )
That's not why I'm here.
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[ It ought to be sarcastic or chiding, but it's perhaps a touch too sincere. He doesn't really mind. He's at least starting to understand some of why Marc seems to struggle with this sort of thing.
He watches Marc's hands as he fusses with the mug. It wouldn't be entirely unreasonable if he had said yes, had wanted to know what had been said and done when he wasn't in control of his body -- their body? -- but things between him and Steven don't work that way. Even as slivers of the same soul, they are their own people. Steven was, in many ways, very astute about Marc. ]
You've not been overly demanding with me, either, actually. Unreasonable I'll give you, but I can be a bit of a brat myself so -- we are well matched.
[ He offers Marc another smile, smaller this time, softer: ] You are doing just fine, Marc.
[ It just seems like the kind of thing he needs to hear.
He leans his chin on his fist again. ]
Why are you here? Just because I asked?
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You don't work for me. ( curt and certain, with an unspoken side of we're not close enough for me to be demanding. marc's attitude tends to be circular in that those closest to him bear the brunt of his worst traits, of his assumptions and his disregard. his enemies are the recipients of something similar, albeit born of different reasoning, while friends — the regular kind — and acquaintances often earn something tempered and more considerate.
where for some, familiarity breeds contempt, for marc it's thoughtlessness.
he imagines, then, that adrian's opinion will change in time, that he'll come to realise that marc is speaking about himself objectively. marc hasn't yet met anyone who's openly disagreed with the assertion, which is why adrian's you're doing fine earns a flat look, disagreeing in almost every single way, before— )
You're obstinate. That's not the same thing.
( dismissive. 'brat' isn't the word marc would use for adrian — at least, not in the current moment — but he doesn't disagree with the underlying sentiment. still, he doesn't linger on the remark, instead swiftly adding— )
No. Not just. But it was a part of it. I— ( pause. pause. ) —'ve been working on being more open.
( 'this is me being better.' )
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[ Adrian takes another sip of his coffee. He's curious to see if and how that might change. There are very specific circumstances where he might do as he's told, and outside of them he is, to put it mildly, impossibly stubborn. People who learn that quickly never like him enough to be angry about it later, when they inevitably leave.
As for his fee... If he isn't working under contact at the clinic (and sometimes even then) the only thing he's ever asked for is a story or a cup of coffee, to get to know people better. For them to open up.
Marc has, to the best of his abilities, already paid his 'fee' in some ways.
Adrian rolls his eyes, clearly considering the correction to be pedantic. There's more that he could say about being called obstinate, but Marc has already continued.
A part of him had expected the question to be dismissed. Of course Marc isn't here because he asked; he was in the area, or he had something in particular he needed, or he just thought that taking an Eldritch Blast to the face sounded like a fun... Anything, really.
His gaze drops to his cup briefly, raising again in the pause between words. ]
Oh. Well... I'm glad that you came.
wow adrian he didn't know he was going to get hit in the face okay
he holds up a finger as if to say 'hold'. )
Before the IRS seized all my stuff? Yes.
( marc being marc, doesn't assume anything other than money when adrian says 'fee', despite adrian to-date showcasing very little interest in finances. it's an association marc's struggled to replace, despite the fact that he very deliberately has little involvement in traditional methods of earning cash, and that he's been that way for over a decade — since his first death in selima.
as for how he has earned money over the years? well, that's between him and his conscience. also — steven, and steven's ability to squirrel away money and assets where marc is both aware of and capable of using it for his own ends, and where he's not because marc has never been especially responsible with his money. and even less so when he's EXPERIENCING THE HORRORS (or being a horror, which is often much the same thing.)
he catches the way adrian rolls his eyes, though, the way marc's answer seems to catch him short. he decides not to linger on either of that, particularly the latter. it's uncomfortable in a way he's not certain how to react to, never has been.
he makes a quiet noise that sits just shy of being a disagreeing nngh, before— )
—The conversation was going to happen eventually. I'm not going to say I'm glad, but people make assumptions with and without it. I've learned the first tends to be preferable to the second.
it was just a fun bonus perk for him
He half-opens his mouth as if he's considering several comments, pauses, and then closes his mouth again. He's not entirely certain that he wants to know. Anyway, it had only been a joke, and he'd gotten an almost-not-quite laugh, so he'll take what victories he can have.
Adrian hums something non-committal in response to Marc's assertion that he was, more or less, just managing assumptions. ]
I can understand why you might not be eager to explain it right away... or at all. [ He still only barely understands it himself, but he doesn't want to push too hard and risk Marc closing off even more than he normally does.
He taps a finger against his cheek, hesitating a moment before he continues: ] But I meant that more generally, as well. It's nice to see you. Do you... would you like to get some better coffee, sometime?
[ There's a kind of wry resignation in his expression, like he already expects Marc to decline out of hand, but he figures that he might as well make the offer anyway. It would be nice to see him "off duty" for once, if he does that sort of thing. ]
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but as for his lacklustre explanation, marc's of the opinion that he's explained it pretty adequately to and for a man that (presumably) has a limited understanding of dissociative identity disorder and so, marc doesn't consider aiding adrian's understanding with anything else. he does almost respond to adrian's first remark, the one about understanding his reluctance towards explaining the situation, but he gets as far as making a general noise that signifies intent to speak before adrian continues, inviting him for coffee and— )
Are you asking me out on a date? ( skeptical and entertained all at once, with marc very deliberately avoiding adding anything else for a count of three.
then, (because obviously not), marc adds— ) I'm not precious about coffee. I've spent a lot of times in a lot of places where the best you can get is freeze-dried ( shit— ) instant granules. You learn not to be picky so long as it keeps you awake. If it tastes like hot, you're doing good.
( hot what? doesn't matter. just hot. )
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He doesn't hear anything Marc is saying after that. It's all white noise to him.
Adrian clears his throat, still clearly distracted: ] Right, yes, hot... That is — I mean you are reasonably handsome — sometimes.
[ He puts a hand over his mouth, as it has become quite suddenly necessary to physically shut himself up, and sinks back into his chair. ]
Wait... are you teasing me? Is this funny to you? Gods, I should turn you into a newt.
[ He cannot, in fact, turn Marc into a newt. ]
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marc had expected that adrian had either not really thought about what he was saying or he was oblivious to the implications, what he hadn't expected was any hint of — well, anything. but then, it's hardly the first time. marc is not a man known for his astuteness when it comes to interpersonal relationships or being even the slightest bit aware of what anyone else might think, particularly in relation to himself.
(does he even consider how he feels about anyone else? no. marc rarely makes the first move.)
so — surprise that segues into uncertainty ("sometimes"? he should be offended, and yet—) into an exhale of breath as he says (lies), ) I don't have a sense of humour.
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He has to remind himself that it still hardly matters. He only knows so much about Marc, and Marc knows even less about him, and sooner or later that will change enough for Marc to realize that even their friendship isn't worth his time.
There's really no need for him to get so flustered, to entertain the idea as if it could work. ]
I see. That's probably for the best; you would be a terrible newt. [ He's still a bit embarrassed, but he exhales with a huff.
Despite his own distractions, he hasn't missed anything in Marc's expression, neither the surprise nor the uncertainty. There's a moment's hesitation again, but Adrian sits up enough to reach across the table and place his hand over Marc's, just barely touching, easy to avoid. ]
Friend coffee, my dear. As I'm sure you can tell, I'm hardly versed in courtship, and that is the least of it... I can't even touch anyone without making them ill, for heavens' sake.
[ Well, there had been Eliot, but that had gone even worse than he could have imagined. ]
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—Only because you call it courtship. ( unthinking as he tries to work out what to offer in response. it's not like marc hasn't dated — hookups and flings in his twenties punctuated by a relationship or two that hadn't gone anywhere. marlene. greer. marlene. echo. marlene again. — but something else had always been more important in one way or another. he knows he'd been a terrible partner, alternately controlling and neglectful, and marlene had forgiven him more times than he had any right to be forgiven. (jean-paul, too—.)
he waves his other hand, a dismissive motion as if to say 'you know' before wryly adding, ) None of what I've done could be called courting.
( he doesn't say that he's often been as bad a friend as he has anything else, too. there's a reason why no-one he used to be close to will talk to him these days. )
Friend, ( he mimics adrian's emphasis, ) coffee doesn't change where my bar is.
( the ground. )
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[ He can't tell if Marc is being pedantic again or if the term itself is antiquated. Still, he can't disagree that he finds it hard to imagine Marc doing anything that could be called courting, even if he does seem to spend all of his time in his formal wear.
Then again, maybe he's just trying to be nice. ]
Then it's settled. Friend coffee. [ He pats Marc's hand before drawing his hands back to his mug. ] I know a place that's open late so you you needn't be up before the moon. I'll send a message when I know my shifts for next week.
[ Will Marc show up several hours late again? Adrian imagines that it's likely, but he has no shortage of reading to do and a coffee shop is a pleasant enough place to do it.
Anyway, it isn't a date. Neither of them need to have expectations.
It's just — Adrian's hands tighten around his mug again. ]
This is working. Friendship, I mean. I'm not in a hurry to make a mess of it.
[ Regardless of what his feelings might be, he's most certainly not ready to unpack them. There's very little that Adrian is truly afraid of, often to his peril, but the idea of raising the stakes of a friendship into romance, so that it has just that much further to fall when it falls apart — that is both novel and terrifying. ]
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( it's punctuated by a flicker of his expression, like he wants to be offended by the insinuation that he won't be awake at regular people-and-business hours before shifting, quite quickly, into resignation at the fact that adrian's right. he might be awake in the early afternoon, but if he can stick to routine and if he can manage a semi-reasonable amount of sleep, then— no. it'll be evening.
still— ) I have an alarm clock, Adrian.
( —so why had he been late? don't ask that question. (will he be late? also yes. but it's nothing personal, okay.)
he considers that more-or-less his cue to leave, and he moves to stand, his coffee still almost entirely untouched. through habit, he make his way towards the window rather than the door, only pausing when adrian finishes speaking. he doesn't turn towards adrian, but he looks over his shoulder enough that he can catch the shape of him in his periphery.
reese had shared some of the conversation marlene had with her, but only after also sharing what she thought of marlene — rude, lacking in manners, unfair — but reese lacked context. lacked understanding. it was nice of her, but unfortunately none of it — none of marc — was quite that simple.
as marlene had said: marc saves people, but not himself and not the people closest to him. eventually, too, the horror outpaces the excitement, and there's no room in anyone's life for him once it gets to that. he doesn't disagree. he disagrees less with jean-paul's assertion, but jean-paul had always seen him most clearly. he won't stop. it's not for lack of want. he's tried, here and there over the years, and always ended up right back where he started.
so, adrian says this — friendship — is working, that he's in no hurry to ruin it, and all marc can think is that adrian hardly needs to be worried about what he'll do. marc tends to do a good enough job of that all by himself.
but unlike adrian, he doesn't differentiate between friendship and romance. he's just as skilled at ending both, it hardly matters what is what. )
You won't. Thank you for the coffee.
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I have an alarm clock, Marc says, and Adrian is tempted to ask him what a man who allegedly doesn't sleep needs with an alarm clock, but he's caught up by the underlying meaning. The willingness to go out of his way for — for something as mundane as coffee, that he doesn't even have strong feelings about. (It's not for the coffee.)
Perhaps he should consider that a mundane act among friends, but he shakes his head, his gaze still downcast toward his lukewarm coffee. ] You're too sweet by far... And quite grumpy enough, even when you have slept.
[ It's lighthearted teasing, without any heat behind it. He finally lets go of the cup and stands up to see Marc to the... window. Adrian considers asking about the door, and decides against it almost immediately. There are some things one just has to accept about Marc Spector and one of them is, apparently, that he is a ridiculous man. ]
Do take care. [ He says, as Marc slips out into the night.
He won't, Adrian knows — but if Marc can assume that Adrian won't ruin this, Adrian can hope that it's a quiet night, just this once. Just for tonight. ]