[ Listen, he was already a little delirious. What else was he supposed to do? And it's not like it could have gotten worse. Probably. (One day those are going to be famous last words.)
Adrian doesn't have to say anything at all. His expression says it all. Which is mostly why Cassian opts not to specify that the concussion is one that he got after he'd run into Logan. The details of his brush with raiders can stay firmly between him and his accidental accomplice. Unfortunately the expression on earns a sheepish little upturn of his mouth along with a shrug. If Adrian isn't going to ask then he isn't going to offer up more details unless pressed.
Instead he nods as he braces himself for whatever will accompany his magic. The halo however is met with a blink of surprise. He didn't recall it being there last time. Then again, he'd been on the brink of death and bleeding out. There's a fleeting thought that has him wondering what he's gotten himself into again before pain relieving warmth floods the wound and crawls its way up into his chest. Much like that moment out on the outskirts of city, it's hard to deny that the relief it bring is welcome. The same heady feeling leaves him replying with a brief murmur of acknowledgement.
What Adrian says next has him shaking himself to his senses. After a moment of silence he lets out a breath as his gaze travels down to the black and gold in his thigh. ]
I'm not averse. [ ...Well. ] It's not common in my galaxy. If people believe in it, it's a fairytale to keep children in line or for people who would buy mud yak swill.
[ The way his voice trails off though implies that there's more to it than that. ]
[ Adrian can see that he's clearly not emphasized enough that it could, in fact, get far worse... but Cassian's eyes are already a bit glazed over with healing, so he suspects that he'll have to pick his battles.
Not averse Cassian says, as Adrian begins to push himself back to his feet. ] Ah, I see. I've heard that before, from others — that their worlds are without magic. I'm glad that you don't find it too off-putting in and of itself...
[ Adrian settles in the other chair again, just so that he can remove his soiled gloves and tidy up while they talk. He still has to give Cassian some instructions, but it can wait for a moment. ] So what is it about magic, then? If it's my magic in particular, I won't take offense. I've most certainly heard it all before.
[ Some day he'll learn. It probably won't be today, or even the next time something happens to him but some day.
If it would bring Adrian any comfort, Cassian often has a hard time learning lessons about the damage wrought to his body. If someone had told him two years ago that this is the sort of man he'd turn into he isn't sure he would have believed them. Then again, so much had changed for him since then. The loss of those closest to him at the hands of injustices had lit something in him that Cassian could no longer ignore. If something happened to him he couldn't just ignore it. There were other more important things than himself now - and that remains true here. ]
I don't know enough about magic to say if it's your magic or not.
[ The response comes easily enough. Not bluntly or cruelly, just matter of fact. The glow from the magic begins to fade but it still keeps his tongue loose - or maybe he feels like he owes it to Adrian in some way. ]
My mother thought all of it was bantha shit. [ There's a half shrug. He doesn't want to get into talking about the Force or Force healers it just felt like too much to explain. But maybe Adrian was owed that. ] I did too. I'd rather trust in something I can see. Something I can touch. I'd rather believe in people.
[ There's another pause as his hand comes to idly tap against the cup on the table. ]
But what happened with Logan and you - I think it made me realize that I wasn't in my galaxy anymore. I knew that. I know that. But I didn't know how much that made me afraid.
[ Adrian inclines his head at the first part. That's a fair enough statement. He and G'raha might enjoy going into the esoterica of their abilities, how they might be similar or different from each other, but he doesn't expect that to be true of everyone... least of all, someone who isn't inclined toward magic to begin with.
While his own magic is more intuitive than it is intellectual, it's still something he feels — something that is, to Adrian, the most important part of him... but he understands Cassian's perspective, at least to some degree. To someone without magic of their own, it can seem as ephemeral as a prayer or a wish.
He'd rather believe in people. In a way, Adrian agrees. ]
Cassian... [ Adrian says, voice softening on his name. ] Perhaps I should tell you to be not afraid... but I can't pretend your fears are entirely unfounded. The price of power can be steep, and the gods who grant it are fickle.
[ Adrian's gaze is downcast as he speaks, just pulling his usual gloves back on again. He's long since deposited the soiled gloves and antiseptic wipes he'd used on his hands in a self-sealing bag to properly dispose of it all later.
His voice is even, but there's a touch of something sharp in it, not directed at Cassian at all.
He reaches out, placing one gloved hand gently on Cassian's wrist before he meets the man's gaze again. ] It's alright to be afraid, so long as it doesn't stop you from asking for help.
[ A sense of curiosity has always followed Cassian - even in his best attempts to nip it in the bud in the instances where it would get him into trouble. But learning about other people, other species, has never been something he's been able to stop. Because it was in that understanding that he connected with them and recruited them to the cause.
He's not blind to his own prejudices and suspicions of abilities he's never encountered before. So it stands to reason that the shame he'd been holding at an arms length begins to make itself known, creeping across the back of his neck. The understanding and comfort being shown to him feels misplaced in this moment for multiple reasons, but it is mostly the realization that he's in the wrong.
Very quickly he comes to the same truth that Adrian feels about his magic: that it is a part of him, whether he or anyone else likes it or not.
It isn't readily apparent however whether the sharpness in his voice is directed at him. If it is, it's deserving. And it is yet another reminder that he is not an island here. That if he wants to go home - if any of them do - relying on others is perhaps the only way they'll do it. Surprise flickers briefly across his face at the light touch against his wrist. He stares at it before meeting Adrian's black and gold eyes, nodding in quiet agreement that he will do his best next time. There's something much more important than that however that he knows he needs to say. ]
[ Surprise colours Adrian's expression. He'd had no expectation of an apology, even despite the circumstances. Most people have quite the opposite reaction when it comes to learning anything at all about his magic; he's well accustomed to it. He even understands it. This — not so much.
He offers Cassian a smile in return. ]
Always. Whenever you have need of me. [ He squeezes the man's wrist gently before letting go. ] Now, about the antibiotics...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Adrian doesn't have to say anything at all. His expression says it all. Which is mostly why Cassian opts not to specify that the concussion is one that he got after he'd run into Logan. The details of his brush with raiders can stay firmly between him and his accidental accomplice. Unfortunately the expression on earns a sheepish little upturn of his mouth along with a shrug. If Adrian isn't going to ask then he isn't going to offer up more details unless pressed.
Instead he nods as he braces himself for whatever will accompany his magic. The halo however is met with a blink of surprise. He didn't recall it being there last time. Then again, he'd been on the brink of death and bleeding out. There's a fleeting thought that has him wondering what he's gotten himself into again before pain relieving warmth floods the wound and crawls its way up into his chest. Much like that moment out on the outskirts of city, it's hard to deny that the relief it bring is welcome. The same heady feeling leaves him replying with a brief murmur of acknowledgement.
What Adrian says next has him shaking himself to his senses. After a moment of silence he lets out a breath as his gaze travels down to the black and gold in his thigh. ]
I'm not averse. [ ...Well. ] It's not common in my galaxy. If people believe in it, it's a fairytale to keep children in line or for people who would buy mud yak swill.
[ The way his voice trails off though implies that there's more to it than that. ]
no subject
Not averse Cassian says, as Adrian begins to push himself back to his feet. ] Ah, I see. I've heard that before, from others — that their worlds are without magic. I'm glad that you don't find it too off-putting in and of itself...
[ Adrian settles in the other chair again, just so that he can remove his soiled gloves and tidy up while they talk. He still has to give Cassian some instructions, but it can wait for a moment. ] So what is it about magic, then? If it's my magic in particular, I won't take offense. I've most certainly heard it all before.
no subject
If it would bring Adrian any comfort, Cassian often has a hard time learning lessons about the damage wrought to his body. If someone had told him two years ago that this is the sort of man he'd turn into he isn't sure he would have believed them. Then again, so much had changed for him since then. The loss of those closest to him at the hands of injustices had lit something in him that Cassian could no longer ignore. If something happened to him he couldn't just ignore it. There were other more important things than himself now - and that remains true here. ]
I don't know enough about magic to say if it's your magic or not.
[ The response comes easily enough. Not bluntly or cruelly, just matter of fact. The glow from the magic begins to fade but it still keeps his tongue loose - or maybe he feels like he owes it to Adrian in some way. ]
My mother thought all of it was bantha shit. [ There's a half shrug. He doesn't want to get into talking about the Force or Force healers it just felt like too much to explain. But maybe Adrian was owed that. ] I did too. I'd rather trust in something I can see. Something I can touch. I'd rather believe in people.
[ There's another pause as his hand comes to idly tap against the cup on the table. ]
But what happened with Logan and you - I think it made me realize that I wasn't in my galaxy anymore. I knew that. I know that. But I didn't know how much that made me afraid.
no subject
While his own magic is more intuitive than it is intellectual, it's still something he feels — something that is, to Adrian, the most important part of him... but he understands Cassian's perspective, at least to some degree. To someone without magic of their own, it can seem as ephemeral as a prayer or a wish.
He'd rather believe in people. In a way, Adrian agrees. ]
Cassian... [ Adrian says, voice softening on his name. ] Perhaps I should tell you to be not afraid... but I can't pretend your fears are entirely unfounded. The price of power can be steep, and the gods who grant it are fickle.
[ Adrian's gaze is downcast as he speaks, just pulling his usual gloves back on again. He's long since deposited the soiled gloves and antiseptic wipes he'd used on his hands in a self-sealing bag to properly dispose of it all later.
His voice is even, but there's a touch of something sharp in it, not directed at Cassian at all.
He reaches out, placing one gloved hand gently on Cassian's wrist before he meets the man's gaze again. ] It's alright to be afraid, so long as it doesn't stop you from asking for help.
🎀🥺 wrap on yours?
He's not blind to his own prejudices and suspicions of abilities he's never encountered before. So it stands to reason that the shame he'd been holding at an arms length begins to make itself known, creeping across the back of his neck. The understanding and comfort being shown to him feels misplaced in this moment for multiple reasons, but it is mostly the realization that he's in the wrong.
Very quickly he comes to the same truth that Adrian feels about his magic: that it is a part of him, whether he or anyone else likes it or not.
It isn't readily apparent however whether the sharpness in his voice is directed at him. If it is, it's deserving. And it is yet another reminder that he is not an island here. That if he wants to go home - if any of them do - relying on others is perhaps the only way they'll do it. Surprise flickers briefly across his face at the light touch against his wrist. He stares at it before meeting Adrian's black and gold eyes, nodding in quiet agreement that he will do his best next time. There's something much more important than that however that he knows he needs to say. ]
I'm sorry I judged you. Thank you for helping me.
🎀
He offers Cassian a smile in return. ]
Always. Whenever you have need of me. [ He squeezes the man's wrist gently before letting go. ] Now, about the antibiotics...